What I've learned. . . so far

Well it’s been a little over 8 months since Chad started working in Sacramento. We both feel like some change is on its way. Whether it’s moving over there or finding something else. Who knows? Either way there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Anyways two of my sister-in-laws are also in the middle of or just starting down the wonderful road of single parenting. It’s made me think a lot about what I’ve learned from all of this. I joked with my sister in law about making a list and then thought, why not? So here it is…

The Semi-Abandoned Wife: 25 things I learned while being left to fend for myself and my children

1. Take it one day at a time. Don’t count down how many days it will be until they are home again.
2. Personal Scripture Study
3. Take personal time every day, whether it’s to read a book or paint your toenails.
4. Try to get out of the house every day. It’s more for your sanity than for the kids.
5. Try to get one-on-one time with each kid. They need it that much more when only mommy can give it.
6. T.V. dinners while convenient are more expensive than actually making something
7. Keep the house clutter free it definitely cuts down on the stress
8. Get rid of things that are weighing you down like toys, clothes, and whatever else you keep but don’t use.
9. Potty training while dealing with a spouse being gone is difficult. So wait until the child is ready or you’re only going to make things worse for yourself.
10. Don’t read books that are stressful or emotionally draining it really only makes you feel that much worse. I highly reccomend Young Adult fiction Shannon Hale really pulled me through a couple of times.
11. DO NOT have a baby while your husband is gone unless you are willing to deal with the baby blues (or worse) on your own.
12. Talk with your spouse everyday if you can. Don’t just talk about how your day went either. Because lets be honest every day is pretty much the same. Write down a question for each other every day such as: what was your favorite vacation as a kid? You're trying to improve your marriage here.
13. Praying over the phone while it seems strange is very beneficial to your marriage and your sanity.
14. Playgroups and Play-dates are huge life savers. Your kids need to socialize with someone besides you even more so now that you are the only parent at home.
15. Go to the temple as often as you can. Not only to feel some peace but to experience real quiet.
16. Write in a journal or blog or something. While it’s tough it helps to throw the whining out into the universe and then you and your spouse don’t have to carry all the weight.
17. Prayer, need I say more?
18. Take a mommy time out every once in awhile. Three minutes in a corner is very beneficial some times.
19. Go get your hair cut at least every month and a half. Even if your spouse isn’t there to enjoy your beauty at least you can.
20. Take a shower do your hair and make-up every day. It somehow makes it easier to not pity yourself when you have actually done something with yourself.
21. Get a hug from someone every day. (the smallest arms make the best hugs)
22. CRY if you feel like it! You don’t have to be tough all the time.
23. Talk to another adult besides your spouse every day. My mom and sisters have saved my bacon!
24. In th words of my dad, "You are tough and good looking!" If you can do this you can pretty much do anything!
25. Love your spouse. The situation you are in is because of choices you made together as a couple. You need to deal with all the stresses and heartaches as a couple too! Once you start blaming your spouse for things it quickly leads to resentment, which quickly leads to your marriage rotting away. It’s not good!